Open or Closed?

Life, Relationship

Many of you may not know this, but one of top three favorite shows on tv right now happens to be Insecure. Not only is it super funny and has a bomb ass soundtrack, but it also does an amazing job at pushing boundaries and making you think when it comes to relationships. One of more recent topics brought to surface this season was the idea of an open relationship. Now I am not one for sharing my partner, but there are some who find that their relationship works better when all bets are off the table, and there is an open invitation into their bedroom.

I am not going to judge or be so quick to say this isn’t something I wouldn’t absolutely do. I mean you never know what you’re going to do in a situation until you’re actually in it. But… what I am saying is…wtf? The whole idea of an open marriage is something I really have to question. For starters, is it really that wack that you have to find fun with someone else? I mean aren’t you supposed to marry the person you have the most fun with and enjoy being with? What happened to “I want to marry my best friend?” or is that bullshit? Or is the idea of an open relationship really not something to trip off of and we only do so because of what society tells us?

“Is it even worth it?”

After what felt like 1,000 questions, I decided to sit back and really try to think of it from both perspectives (as best as I could). From side A, someone who is not for an open relationship, I thought of all the alternatives that couples possibly have before making this decision. Those go as followed: marriage-counseling, going away on vacation, trying to find where the marriage went left, trying to regain that “spark” or lately, just separating. Now I’ve never been married so I can’t say “oh do all these things and everything will be ok,” but what I can say is these are some of the things I would try personally.

Now for side B, those in favor of an open relationship, maybe they love each other and don’t want to be apart but they really aren’t feeling this anymore. I’ve even thought about the fact that maybe having multiple partners intrigues them, and instead of cheating they want to be upfront and let their partner know what’s going on. Kind of like a ‘have your cake and eat it too’ type thing. Lastly, I thought maybe they just want to avoid divorce and after exhausting their options this is what they liked the best. Who knows? As I mentioned before, you can’t really say what you’d never do until it happens to you. But what I will say is, if this is what marriage is coming to now a days, is it even worth it?

I believe the jury is still out on this one and maybe its more common than I think. Btw, check out Insecure on HBO if you haven’t already, its amazing!

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