Self-love is so important. I can’t say stress enough how much self-love means to me. Its most important on those days where I am just not feeling like myself, and my confidence is at an all time low. I have to stop, take a minute and remind myself of exactly who I am. With the way society is set up today, everyone is so obsessed with looking the same, that sometimes it makes you second guess yourself. However, I don’t believe that I should ever have to feel this way and the fact that many women and young girls around the world do is such bullshit.
If I had a dollar for every time I chose to write about this topic in school, unfortunately I wouldn’t be rich. But I’d damn sure have enough to say to grasp the attention of the room and to me that’s worth more than money. Last night I was thinking of ways I should do my hair while scrolling through old pictures of myself. I contemplated on adding hair, getting braids or just rocking my real hair. As I finished washing my hair I took a look in the mirror and just stared. I thought to myself of how much easier it would be to just wear weave for a while. Yet then I also thought about how much I actually like the freedom of wearing my real hair. Then just as I was about to doubt myself, I thought of my nephew.
I thought about how much he liked my short hair and how much that meant to me. Out of all the people who tell me they like my short hair, none of their opinions matter as much as his. I’m going to break down to you why. Not only is my nephew just a young kid and is brutally honest (you know kids have no filter), but he doesn’t view me like the world does. In his eyes I am his “TT” and he sees me for exactly who I am. I’m not competing with the Instagram models of the world, I’m not being judged for not looking like everybody else does, and I am being complimented for being myself. Now I’m not saying that everyone is trying to be someone else. But what I am saying is, even when you don’t see yourself as beautiful someone else does, and that isn’t appreciated enough. It’s the little things that go a long way.
“I have to remind myself of who I am”
Sometimes when I get too wrapped up in my looks I think about the people who don’t care if I have a drop of makeup on, or that I’m not out in the spot half naked. I also think about the people who appreciate me for me, and remind me how special I am to them. I am thankful for those people. I am thankful for my brown skin even if others aren’t. I am thankful for my short stature and my thick thighs. I am thankful for every mole and stretch mark. I am thankful for my big ears that I finally grew into. I am thankful that my waist isn’t as small as others and my stomach isn’t as flat. I’m getting older and my body is changing. I am thankful for that.
Importantly, I am thankful that even on my shittest of days, I know I have people who still “see me.” Lastly, I am thankful that over the years I’ve gained the confidence that I have now. If you can’t be true to yourself, then whom are you being true to?